1 - DIY

notes:
biskithed's industrial song


2 - SCAB

notes:
bullice recounts scab episode

/
back when I used to go to the private school

used to go out behind the house
there was a shed
there was an umbrella
set it on fire
started drippin little drops of fire

fell on my hand
got a drop of fire on my hand
took about two weeks
for it to well up kinda
then it got good and hard

went to the lockers one mornin
real cold
january
walkin around with the hand in the pocket
tryin to protect you know what

this girl named kathy
comes up behind me
kind of rushed me
then I felt it
and there was that little
kind of scream inside your mind
and I didn't want to look
but I already knew

and then I looked at it
and it wasn't there any more
it was just kind of a 
blue vein laying there
like a little blue worm

like a little cesspool
with a little blue worm in it

and it made me think
of when you go to Pizza Hut
and you go to dip out a little
bowl of those bacon bits
and you start thinking
"what if they were scabs?"

scab

scab
/



3 - WASHER/DRYER

notes:
biskithed's electrojive
truncated on 2nd pressing



4 - GLASS

notes:
elbanyo's and bullice's diatribes
telephone and walkie-talkie vocal relays

/
I found a piece of glass in my wallet
edge sharpened
brittle and shiny
as a reminder to be carried 
of pain of loss

I put it away back in that box in the closet
marked "do not open"
for safety as much as sanity

I remember the bottle breaking
as it fell to the floor
each second a tear shed in longing
as the moment crystallized
from real life into frozen
nightmare memory

A flower stem
ground and hardened
weathered with time
fifteen pictures of her
glances back into happier times
times when my door was closed
to all but her
days when my needs
were fulfilled by an embrace
letters read once a year
to ensure that life now 
is but a shadow of then

As I put the box away I think about
something that Kerouac wrote, 
his something something something maxim
doubtless whimsically written:
"accept loss forever"

I accept her loss now
but cannot come to grips with this reality

when I was watching television
I noticed that I've lived with
all these fucks that
strut upon the screen there
divining trite meaning
from contrived video lines:

ward cleaver was a child molester
died homeless, called my brother once a week

mike brady, businesslike, stylish
in his suave seventies fashion
stole a bag of my uncle's best buds

I remember my father saying that Mrs. Partridge
was the best he'd ever had

and I'm sure Mr. Roper is in those
pictures in my mother's panty drawer.

Where's the existentialists?
Where the dadaists?
Where's that Buckminster Fuller?

This radiation flood
dearth of content
devoid of thought
selected secretly in dark boardrooms to sell

stereotype image aimed at you, boy
you the target audience
packaged like a wild burrito
in that damned eighties nouveau wax paper

"Give it to Mikey.
Naw he won't eat it, he hates everything."

Fuck Mikey!
corporate icon of desire and indulgence

"Barney's your friend, 
sing with Barney."

Fuck Barney!
stuffed caricature of the falsehood
reported to be childhood bliss
a pathetic attempt at
unifying an inherently divided audience.

(//channel switch//)

that time my teacher's
cadillac was
rollin up the I-85
that little boy was in it
touched that little button
and the whole god damned roof flew off
mmmhmmm

automatic roof
you know you ain't supposed
to touch that shit little button
when you're flying down the interstate
about seventy miles an hour

you're supposed to wait
until you're still

and in that moment
when the roof flies off
you can see
all of heaven
just raining down on you
like the monsoons

I would say that
the roof of my father's cadillac
would equal
what you thought would be
Thailand

(Bacon)
/



5 - GATORADE

notes:
biskithed on vocals

/
gatorade
bottles on the floor

people walking in a phone book
people walking down a street
I don't know what I mean

I wanna go away from here
I wanna go buy a keg of beer
I wanna go listen to some Fear
/


6 - ICK 

elbanyo - slide guitar, bass, vocals
bullice - bicycle rims, keyboards
biskithed - percussion, 2-string riff, vocals
mikeH - vocals
markJ - badass
minta = fag

/
i've got tides, tides like a biscuit
cut my arm, burned so to fix it
i don't know, use the word triscuit
staircase pipe, automowix it
beat up a boy named danny bickett
fuse, transformer, electric-ic-ic

ick
(her cratch is in my face)
ick
(box of shit, do you want what's in the box?)
ick
(let's burn it, let's open it, let's take her shit)
ick
(steal her shit, i want blatch's shit)

part my hand, hurt like a big sore
cruc'fy me on a cheap whore
wait, she left, go slam the fish door
carp, my foot, airplane the toaster
black blackblack, crack like the ick whore
jelly donuts fathom the egg spore 

ick
(yes, i'll have some blatch tonight)
ick
(let's cut up some blatch and eat it)
ick
(blatch)
ick

fout, phat beats, legos and much more
family bondage, master the ??
play some darts, greeley keeps the score
(think of the imagery)
i'm in time
(blatch - think of the imagery)
i'm in time
(blatch blatch cratch cratch)
time keeps slippin', slippin' ...
/



7 - THE GANGLIA BEHIND THE EYEBALL

notes:
bullice on vocals
biskithed backup vocals

/
it's a
tangled up mass

just references to the back of the library
(ack bak)
the ganglia behind the eyeball
(biscuit)
the ganglia behind the eyeball
/



8 - GREENS

notes:
lyrics tangled and surreal
too much effort to recall/transcribe
(trees full of lighters)

/
see now
I warn ya
I warned ya
(I got a quarter here)
not in that chair ol'boy

you got a quarter?
I need a quarter
get in my pants

(I'm gonna eat me some greens)

pick some of these fleas
off my penis

give me a quarter
you got a quarter?

(I'm gonna think about it)

give me a quarter
so I can shave it off

(I'm gonna rape you)

give me a couple of quarters
so I can afford to shave it off
and get me some of that hair remover
(???)
boy that flea shampoo burns
-- I can't use it
don't give me no flea shampoo
(???)
you know what I need
I need four quarter
two quarters
that right

(the best time that I ever had)

got butts
cigarette butts
in my house

(eating strawberries)

one time this guy
had a fiberglass door

(sittin' on your roof)

dropped it on my head
when I was young
(shootin)
and I ain't been the same since
that's why I'm always
hangin' it with the dog

(shooting at people with
trees full of lighters)

that's right
I'm just bad

(trees full of lighters)

cause I was mistreated
when I was young
my father abused me

(trees full of lighters)

and now I'm trying
to save the world again

(I'm gonna smoke me down some ???
 just stewin' with gravy)

got cigarette butts
in my nose boy
that's been my biggest
problem my whole life

(I'm gonna get me an ashtray
 with some gristles)

just give me another beer
just a dollar, man

(I'm gonna sit right down now)

I just need a dollar
so I can buy me
some Jacks

(smoke me)

cigarettes
/



9 - TELEPHONE

notes:
biskithed vocals

/
telephone
/



10 - BISTRO

notes:
bullice vocals

/
take one in the bistro
take two in the bistro
/



11 - WOKHEAD

notes:
biskithed vocals & wok
(the misery of wok-on-head percussion)

/
I wish the wok was not my head
I wish the wok was not my head
I wish the wok was not my head
I wish the wok was not my head
/



12 - CUP OF TEA

notes:
elbanyo vocals
tedious recounting of visit to the land of midget tea

/
oh yes
once upon a time
I found myself walking down a street
I was walking down a long street
and thought I might have myself some tea
I walked in and got myself some tea
I sat down and got a cup
I said "Lady, gimme some tea.
Let me have a little tea."

She said, "What kind do you want?
Do you want white or black?
Do you want brown or white?"
I said, "What do you mean 'white or
black, brown or white'?
What you got?  What you got?"
She "We've got it all.  We've got
everything.  We got a red, we got
a yellow."
I said "Listen, lady, I just want
me some little cup of tea.
A litle cup of tea."
She said, she said, "You know
we don't serve your kind around here.
We don't serve you.  You're too tall.
You're too tall.  You're far too tall
for us."

I looked down and noticed she was a midget.
Like in the Land of Oz.  And said,
"All I want is a little cup of tea, a little
cup of tea, a little cup of tea."

So she handed me some tea. I said, "This
is no tea that I've ever seen.  No land that
I've ever been in.  This is no mirror that I've
ever touched.  No door through which I've ever
walked."  So I drank my tea and I drank my tea
and I drank my tea.  And I looked.

And I saw, once more once more once more, a little
sugar a little sugar, please, a little sugar tea.
I walked back, I stood up, and I stared about.
And I saw the bank being robbed.  I saw the men running
in raincoats.  I saw a goat.  I saw a Volkswagen.
I saw a beer.  And I thought, "It was such a good
cup of tea, perhaps I'll have another one."

I looked back and the door was closed, the building
was gone, the lot was desolate, and I was in a desert.
A desert without tea.
/


13 - ROACH POLLUTION

notes:
bullice vocals
biskithed backup vocals

/
'Cause my fingernails have the fungus
from the Aztec disease

(roach pollution)

and the disease was not
descended from the Aztecs, but from space invaders

(roach pollution)

and I put my quarter in
and it was not disgorged by the machine

(roach pollution)

and because I could not get my vein out
the nurse had to pull it out
and play on it like a little 
horn

(roach pollution!)

and because my lips were not
playing through the wall
because my roommate was not disturbed
and did not want to hurt me 
at the end of the lease

(roach pollution)

and because my hip hop disease
did not come through the grocery store
foaming at the lemons
and they all 
ran up on the chihuahuas

(roach pollution)

because the old women
blowing out their valves
and their coronaries
all beautiful
colored in red and wine!

(roach pollution!)

because they were not colored
in red and wine
in the lake of fire!

(roach pollution)

hurting and hurting again
in black
not like Counting Crows
because I saw them all falling
into the scream machine
all dying!
anngh!

(roach pollution)

their legs moving
but not going anywhere
their legs moving
but not going anywhere
their legs moving
but not going anywhere
I hate you!

(roach pollution)

burn!

(roach pollution)

because their little heads
are flying
and flying
the parasols

(roach pollution)

and as we've said before

roach pollution
/



14 - DON'T COME 'ROUND

notes:
bullice vocals
additional bumbleball effects

/
Don't come 'round
don't come 'round any more
I tell you
don't come 'round any more

in the time
in the time

don't come 'round anymore
I been telling you don't come

It's that one really big chicken
the big ass one you've been seeing
for the last fifteen years of your life
that one down there in the corner
that one that's holding the egg in the hands
and farmer with the pitchfork
that's been sticking out for the past fifteen years

and don't go looking in the lavatory
in the henhouses anymore
'cause even though it's been compared
in the last East German novel
(hhaaaha)

I'm tellin ya don't come 'round anymoe
don't come 'round
it's just not right
you must let the compunction
the evolution must go on
as it was planned
/



15 - SONIC YOUTH

notes:
stolen and abused from overplayed sonic youth track



16 - FILLER

notes:
truncated on 2nd pressing



17 - PARKS

notes:
bullice vocals
theme on an impressionist painting

/
envy this, Snoop!

This reminds me of sitting in the central parks
in Paris
/



18 - WAFFLES

notes:
condensed from exceedingly long track
involving numerous contributors

/
Waffles whenever you are
/



19 - OBELISK

notes:
bullice vocals

/
lately

the obelisks
lying in Egypt
were in the lake of black flames

were they
now because E. A. Wallace Budge
told you that they were an owl

the owl in the sarcophagus
could you imagine
where there was an owl in your coffin?

when you could
figure out
that Poe's funguses grew nightly

and your mind
falling about:
folding in
eyes fall back

the video of your mind
full of sound
undone by
the smallest janitor
/



20 - BURNING NEWSPAPER

notes:
biskithed, elbanyo vocals
nearly indecipherable
truncated on 2nd pressing

/
like an exhausted swimmer
caught in a riptide
anxious investors
feel now helpless
before the sweeping currents
of events

(clam chowder)
how will the european crisis end?
(clam chowder)
who will win the presidential election?
(clam chowder)
what will lead mean for investors?
(recycling)

is the economy getting better or worse?
(dealt the cards)
are stock prices too high?
(the square root)
starting over unexpected losses
dealt by this month's european
currency crisis
(59 cents)
investors having been bailing out of
certain world income funds in
(backgammon)
droves over the past two weeks
v-net long distance
(hit number 3)
the number nine
(colon)
plus v-net code
(gathering horses)
plus number
plus 1
plus number
(???)
(eliot, please)
(ow, blue)
(squiss)
/



21 - SCOTLAND

notes:
bullice vocals
elbanyo backup vocals

/
The brave men of Scotland
ha-ave defeated the clan of MacLeash
in the county of MacInteiyre
on the Island of Mul!
let all you go out to this song!

(would you like some pudding?
 would you like some pudding?
 I think you would be liking some pudding now, yes?)

You damn Irishman!
You may be a kilt, 
but you were not born of me mother!

(I think I hit the window
 of that other house
 with a spoon

 oh hello ay
 Paul jumped off the tractor
 got a tire iron in his hand
 beatin the shit outta Ed)

oh you were not born of me mother
in the county of Mul!
nonetheless...

we in old
we in
we in old Scotland have a saying that 
"If you've got the poet,
Robby Burns, born, in your midst, 
then you can always go
to all the little pubs that you want to in"

(wild thing)

"in the central district of Soho
 and all them in London, 
 as long as you've got
 the real good roots, Ya, 
 the real good roots
 down in Scotland."

Blymus Heamy
what do you mean that we've not got
a great tournament
a great tournament

(wild thing)

in, you know, what we've got in Britain

I'll show you an Irish tune, I'll show you

(wild thing I think you screwed me)

I'll show you an Irish tune
I'll show you an Irish tune
a little tune I'll show you an Irish tune

(but I wanna know your tools)




22 - PROMO AT :20

notes:
biskithed, elbanyo vocals
promo for "Caustic Bush's Clean Feed"
 - fbou members' radio show
... greetings, evil genius...



23 - ECHODRIP



24 - STAIRWAY

notes:
stolen and ruined from Led Zeppelin



25 - DRIP



26 - SCRIPT

notes:
electronic vocals
in order to be allowed further "coffee house"
appearances at 's
philosophy dormitory after chaotic/destructive
prior performances fbou was required to submit
a pre-written script for approval by the content
control nazi's of the organization.  this script
is that submitted document.  performance was never
approved.


/
Flying bags of Urine
Script
Fall 1994
Coffee House 1

Doug:  Good evening
Coffee House:  Good evening

We are Flying Bags of Urine.
We would like to set a few things straight tonight.
We are no longer a grievous waste of human flesh.
Instead of trying to apologize for our previous behavior,
we would like to offer some songs which will not only
make you happy, but also fit into a more traditional
Coffee House atmosphere.

Due to circumstances beyond our control, tonight's concert
has been prewritten and edited to prevent the spontaneous chaos
that has long been associated with Flying Bags of Urine.
We prevail on your sense of decorum not to throw anything
during our performance, seeing as this would make us
renege on our contract.

A period of five seconds will be allotted after each song for
applause.  Please conduct yourselves accordingly and we'll do
our best, won't we, Scott?

Scott:  Yeah.  I'm pretty darn pumped up for this performance.
Giving other's joy through music almost makes me feel like
I'm worth something.

Doug:  No, Scott, aren't you still going to go into the lounge
and be antisocial and depressed after the show?

Scott:  Yeah, sure, but while we're on stage it's almost
like overdosing on Prozac.

(both laugh)

Doug:  Well I guess it's that time.

Scott:  What time is that?

Doug:  You know.

Scott:  Turn to throw shit and burn stuff?

(both laugh)

Doug:  No, that was the old Flying Bags of Urine.
I mean time for you to tune that two string guitar.
The two string sound is why we're famous.

Scott:  Aren't you afraid that the audience will
get bored?

(Doug laughs)

Doug:  I don't think so, because I'm going to entertain
everybody by just having a donut and thinking about this
beautiful time of the year.  It makes me think, you know, 
how nice it is here and how meaningful these memories can
always be.

Scott:  That's special.

Doug:  Can I have a donut?

Doug:  mmmmm
There's nothing quite like a little German with your Donuts,
right, Scott?

Scott:  Yeah, German and donuts.

(Scott tunes guitar.  Doug eats donut.)

Scott:  Isn't it about time for our first song?

Doug:  Yeah.  I really like the alphabet.  Let's do a song about it.

Scott:  o.k.

(the first song "ABCDEFG" is performed)

Scott:  We will now allot five seconds for your applause.

Doug:  That was sure fun, but I want to sing something now.
We've already sung about letters, so now let's do a song about
numbers.

Scott:  I don't get it.

(Scott thinks)

Scott:  Oh, like phone numbers.  I really like phones, and the
Eighties are really cool, too.

Doug:  Well, let's hit it.

(the second song, "8675309" is performed)

Scott:  We will now allot five seconds for your applause.

Scott:  I really miss phones.  You know they're an important
part of my life, and an important part of our shows.  Remember
all the phones we used to smash, Doug?

(they both stop and sip coffee)

Doug:  Hey wait... (pulls out a phone and a hammer)
I'll hit this phone, but can you play something while I break it?

Scott:  No, that might be too crazy.  Maybe we should just hit the
phone once with the hammer for old time's sake.

Doug:  Yeah.

(walks up and hits phone)

Scott:  Doug, you're being environmentally irresponsible.
Use that recycling bin over there, please.

(Doug pitches phone)

Doug:  Hey, Scott, know what really fires me up?  A good Stones
cover.  It takes me right back to the rockabilly Sixties when
love was for real.

Scott:  Yeah.  What's the most rockest song the Stones ever did?

Doug:  I don't know.  "Paint it Black?"

Scott: (thinks)  That's a little too far out there for me.  How
about "Start Me Up?"

Doug:  Have you ever had sex to "Start Me Up"?

Scott:  No.

Doug:  Neither have I.

(both laugh)

Scott:  That's really funny.  O.k., let's rock with the Stones.

(third song is performed)

Scott:  We will now allot five seconds for your applause.

Doug:  Hey, Scott, do you figure anyone will buy our tape?

Scott:  Are you talking about the recording that's being made
right now of tonight's performance?  Yeah, maybe one or two
people.

Doug:  I hope everyone knows it's also got stuff from this summer
on it.  God, it really sucks, doesn't it?  Remember when I was
throwing those bicycle rims around in the basement?  How did I
manage to play keyboard?

Scott:  I don't know how I mixed down the whole tape later
that evening.  It was nutty.  I really don't know how we managed
to play anything.  We were so drunk that nothing sounded anything
like it does tonight.  People don't want to waste a lot of money
on that junk.  Let's charge a dollar per tape.

Doug:  That's cool.  Scott, you're cool.

Scott:  So are you.  And I'm glad we're not under the influence
of any drugs or alcoholic beverages.  That would only make us really
self-centered and unmanageable.

Doug:  Yeah, I think everyone should really think twice before he
or she drinks too much.  You really have to learn when to come down
off your high and deal with your problems.

Scott:  I know what you mean.  Doug, your wisdom about drinking
really means a lot to me.  I've got something to confess:  I have
a beer with me.  I thought I'd need it to get through the show, 
but you've shown me to be way, way wrong.

(Scott pours out beer)

Doug:  I'm glad you recycled.  The earth means more to us now than
it ever has before.

Scott:  Yeah.  Doug, o.k. let's finish up with a song we wrote that
we can plug.  You know it's on our album and everything.  I was thinking
about "Ick".

Doug:  But aren't the words too crazy?

Scott:  Maybe.  Why don't we just say "blah" the whole time instead
of "Ick"?

("ICK" is performed as "BLAH")

Scott:  Well, that about wraps it up.
/



27 - NIETZSCHE

notes:
leftover track from recording's
made by biskithed of band with
which he was involved in high school

/
Well, Nietzsche was a man
who disliked morality.
Like the postmodernists
he practised bestiality.

Rovin'
Druggin'
Drinkin' all night
Doin' what he wants
Don't matter what's right.

Nietzsche
L.A. posse gonna get ya
Nietzsche
L.A. posse gonna get ya
Nietzsche
L.A. posse gonna get ya
Nietzsche
L.A. posse gonna get ya

Rock the house

Cruisin' on the corner
in my 6-4-0
Ran over Nietzsche
'n' looked out the do'

Nietzsche was dead
Flat was his head
Looked at the boy
and this is what I said:

I say, 
Nietzsche
L.A. posse gonna get ya
Nietzsche
L.A. posse gonna get ya
Nietzsche
L.A. posse gonna get ya
Nietzsche
L.A. posse gonna get ya
/



28 - DRIP